Well, last week was been a full one with both good news and not-so-good news.
On the good news side, John and Carley got possession of their house after a few stressful moments when the mortgage company wanted more money – twice. They bought an air mattress so they could sleep in the house rather than staying at Carley’s cousin’s house. So far, they have cut down a lilac tree and they are deciding which of the other landscaping features they will work on next. They have their phone and their furniture should be arriving in the next day or so.
Mel sees the doctor on Tuesday and with luck, they might remove the cast on her broken elbow and leave it off. She will need to go for physiotherapy once the cast is off but she will be pleased to have some use of her arm, if it does come off.
I got my laptop back from Futureshop and it has a new hard drive. We managed to get a backup done when John was here so now all I need to do is copy all my files over. At least I have legal copies of my software so that has all been reinstalled.
The weather this weekend was great so it was wonderful to enjoy the sunshine and warm temperatures.
Steve saw the cardiologist on Monday and he seems pleased with his progress. He also met with the cardiac wellness program so he starts his exercise program, probably next week, or the week after. I think that getting out and about will be good for him – he is a very social person and not feeling great and staying home has been trying for him.
We went out on Sunday and purchased a new washer and dryer and ended up getting a new fridge as well! Our current fridge is 27½ years old – we got it new when we built our house – so it has been living on borrowed time for a while. About once a month for the last few years, we talk about getting a new one but we kept putting it off. Home Depot had one on sale and it will fit in just right. The washer and dryer were also on sale and there is a $300 rebate from the manufacturer as well as a $100 provincial rebate so all in all, I think we did well.
On the not-so-good front, I was talking to my mother’s case manager at Homecare and she said she was talking to Mom last week and when she asked Mom what she is eating for supper, Mom said that I come over every night to make supper – this is quite a feat from Calgary to Toronto – but it might explain why I am so tired lately!!!
One of Mom’s friends phoned me to say I need to do something about my mother. I explained to her, as I have to many other people, that as long as Mom is deemed to be competent, I cannot make her decisions for her. The friend also said that Mom was outside for almost an hour waiting for her driver to take her to the doctor’s appointment. The driver arrived on time but apparently Mom is losing her time orientation because she was outside at 7:30 am for an 8:30 pickup. I gather she also tried to cook something in the microwave for 45 minutes. Needless to say, it burned! She has had no sense of smell for years so she didn’t know she had burned anything. She is getting less and less safe in her own home.
If and when the doctor says that her Powers of Attorney need to be put into effect, I can do something but until then, my hands are tied. I can suggest but I cannot insist. Mom also thinks that maybe she hasn’t lost her license because she hasn’t received a letter from Motor Vehicles yet. I need to call her doctor tomorrow and make sure the paperwork has been sent in.
I am still planning to go east, probably the 3rd week of July, and I will stay for about 10 days. During that time, I am hoping to take her to see several residences so she can pick her first choice and I will get her name on a few waiting lists. What would be best, from my point of view, would be to find her a home and get her moved in while I am there but I seriously doubt that will happen. I think this will take at least one, if not two or more trips. Her doctor last week apparently said that he thinks she needs long term care, not just a seniors’ residence.
Once I am finished visiting, I plan to bring Mom’s car back to my home. It has no real monetary value – it about 15 years old although it has been very well cared for and only has about 65,000 kms (about 40,000 miles). I know it has a new muffler – the previous one was stolen! Anyway, Ellie and I are planning to drive it across the country (we know we can enjoy each others’ company, based on the fun we had in Cuba), so it should work out. Ellie’s husband will fly west and meet her then they will go off on vacation – at least that is the tentative plan at this point in time.
Poor Steve is having a bad time with his medications. He keeps getting tingling sensations, rather like pins and needles. Because the drugs are helping to keep him healthier (and quite frankly, probably alive!), this is something he may have to learn to live with. He’s going to talk to the family doctor this week and see if there are any other drugs he can take that might not have these side effects. It is very trying for him because the pain comes on with no warning and may last for several minutes. It hits everywhere, not just his hands and feet, which is very disconcerting.
This week is Canada Day so a day off, then my new appliances arrive on Friday, so without anything else planned, the week should be a good one.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
A Rose by any other name...
Have you ever wanted to have another name? When I was younger, I thought that Veronica was the best name, followed by Philipa. I don’t remember why I liked Veronica but I was into reading English school girl books and horse stories and there were a few Philipas who starred in them so that seemed like a great name. I disliked then and still dislike Jessica. I don’t even remember knowing a Jessica but it’s a name I just don’t like.
I thought that Aurora would be a good choice instead of Dawn – Dawn is not uncommon as a middle name but there aren’t too many Dawns of my generation as a first name.
One of my second cousins is named Carol Dawn but apparently her family’s minister (or someone like that) told her mother that Dawn was not a suitable name for a child so although her mother had wanted to call her Dawn Carol she became Carol Dawn and was always known as Carol. After she moved from Montreal to Calgary as an adult, she decided to start a new life with the name she had always preferred and so she became Dawn.
I sometimes look at names and wonder if the parents were playing Scrabble when the child was born and they had to create a name with the tiles they had and that is why their child ended up with the name they did.
David has a theory and if you can’t tell the gender of the person, they are probably female. It is as if the parents are hoping that nobody knows they have had a girl so they give her a neutral name or make up a spelling that is unusual.
I read about a family a few years ago where the three boys had names like Ryan, Robert and Jason but the girl was named Bambi! I just can’t imagine having my bank manager named Bambi. How about “Officer Bambi”? I think she will have a really hard time being taken seriously when she grows up.
I bought a book called something like “Beyond Jason and Jennifer – Names for the New Age” a few years ago, after I had children. It had lists of names and the type of professions you would expect people with these names to have – George could be an accountant but Desiree was more likely to be an exotic dancer.
I also remember reading a study where lists of names of job candidates were given to prospective employers and without any other information, they were to choose who to interview. For women, names such as Doris were more trusted to be hard workers and make good assistants but Jennifer was more likely to be chosen as a receptionist.
So, if you could change your name, would you? Do you think it would change who you are or how people expect you to be? Have you become your name?
I thought that Aurora would be a good choice instead of Dawn – Dawn is not uncommon as a middle name but there aren’t too many Dawns of my generation as a first name.
One of my second cousins is named Carol Dawn but apparently her family’s minister (or someone like that) told her mother that Dawn was not a suitable name for a child so although her mother had wanted to call her Dawn Carol she became Carol Dawn and was always known as Carol. After she moved from Montreal to Calgary as an adult, she decided to start a new life with the name she had always preferred and so she became Dawn.
I sometimes look at names and wonder if the parents were playing Scrabble when the child was born and they had to create a name with the tiles they had and that is why their child ended up with the name they did.
David has a theory and if you can’t tell the gender of the person, they are probably female. It is as if the parents are hoping that nobody knows they have had a girl so they give her a neutral name or make up a spelling that is unusual.
I read about a family a few years ago where the three boys had names like Ryan, Robert and Jason but the girl was named Bambi! I just can’t imagine having my bank manager named Bambi. How about “Officer Bambi”? I think she will have a really hard time being taken seriously when she grows up.
I bought a book called something like “Beyond Jason and Jennifer – Names for the New Age” a few years ago, after I had children. It had lists of names and the type of professions you would expect people with these names to have – George could be an accountant but Desiree was more likely to be an exotic dancer.
I also remember reading a study where lists of names of job candidates were given to prospective employers and without any other information, they were to choose who to interview. For women, names such as Doris were more trusted to be hard workers and make good assistants but Jennifer was more likely to be chosen as a receptionist.
So, if you could change your name, would you? Do you think it would change who you are or how people expect you to be? Have you become your name?
Monday, June 22, 2009
I was going through some old photos and I found this one - it is one of the few I have of my Dad and my children. This was taken in Summer 1988 at my Dad's place in Northern Ontario. From left to right - Dad, James, me, Melissa, Rollande (Dad's wife), Dave and John. The dog was Rufus, our Chow Chow. My Dad died last March, just 10 days after his birthday so this photo is in memory of good times. The photographer was Steve.
The Weekend
Yesterday was our 34th Anniversary so along with that, Father’s day, Steve’s 58th birthday on the 26th and all four children being in town for the first time at this time of year in 10 years, we decided to have a one size fits all dinner. I decided that I didn’t want to have 10 people for dinner, Mel was not in any position to host a dinner and Dave’s backyard leaves more than a bit to be desired – that is one of the areas on his house that is scheduled for work this year (yes, Ann, if you are reading this, they are going to fix it up – they already have thrown out the non-working barbeque!).
Because Mel can’t do much more than telephone around, I asked her to take charge of finding a restaurant. I hadn’t realized that 10 people constitutes a “group” so unless we wanted to order from the “group” menu, we were limited in where we could go. She chose Bonterra (http://www.bonterra.ca/) Restaurant. I guess it is what you would call trendy. They have bison, rabbit meatballs, etc. The prices were not wallet friendly (at least we had all agreed to cover our own costs but….). I guess maybe I am behind the times because Steve and I usually go out for breakfast, not dinner, so I was rather taken aback. Poor James – it cost $50 for him and his girlfriend for basically 2 bowls of fancy spaghetti and two pops – that was the cheapest thing on the menu! James and I reviewed the bill and they charged him for his refill on Pepsi so I guess he had three pops – not two. I agreed that after everyone else had paid their share, I would pick up the balance but the bill they brought to me was overcharged by $50 so that took a bit of sorting out – I will be keeping a close eye on my credit card statement when it arrives.
On Saturday, Steve and I were talking about anniversary presents to each other. I told Steve that I would like the topazes in one of my rings replaced – I have lost 2 – they are on the underside of the ring so they don’t show but I know they are missing. He wants a combined gift that I am attempting to get but it is taking longer than I anticipated. Anyway, my ring is going to have to be put on hold because I think we NEED to replace the dryer. Over the last few weeks, when I turn it on, it may or may not start – sometimes it needs to have the drum turned a bit then it is fine but on Saturday, it wasn’t willing to run for more than about 2 minutes then it would stop. Of course this had to be the load with the bath towels that we needed so I ended up going to the laudromat and using their dryer. I had another load in the washer so I decided to hang that out on the line – it seemed like a great idea until the line (this particular cord has been up for probably 8 years) decided to break and all the clean sheets and shirts landed on the ground! This in itself was not too bad until Willow decided that, while I was in the yard gathering laundry, this would be a great time to play ball so she dropped her ball on the clean sheets then ran across the rest of the laundry to get into position to catch the ball! It’s a good thing that I have more than one set of sheets. It’s also a good thing she is really cute.
On the getting things wet front, apparently our appliances and plumbing are in cahoots. On Wednesday, after Steve had his shower, James came upstairs from his room and reported there was water leaking onto the floor from under our bathroom. Steve took the front cover off our tub and found one leak but decided that the caulking around a part of the tub needed to be removed so he did that and he realized that the other leak was caused where caulking that has come loose. We had the ensuite bathroom put in 12 years ago – my, how time flies. I suggested the rest of the caulking should be removed so it could all be replaced because after 12 years, I am sure that more than just one place needs replacing. Anyway, it turned out that I was right and a bit of the drywall, behind the tub-surround, was wet so we have left it open to dry out before replacing the caulking. On Sunday morning, it is still not dry enough so it will probably be Monday before he can put in new caulking and we will be good to go. I have really missed being able to use our own shower. John and Carley have also been using the main bathroom so this has required a bit more scheduling. It’s silly, but you get used to the water pressure in a particular shower, then nothing else feels quite right. Also, the main bathroom is down the hall so I have to remember to take everything with me before I have my shower. It’s not really difficult, it’s just something I am not used to doing anymore. I am not really sure how we managed with 6 people and one bathroom for the first 10 years we lived here! But, when I really consider the number of people who are losing their jobs and their homes, whining about having to use a different bathroom seems very self-indulgent so I think I will close this off now.
Because Mel can’t do much more than telephone around, I asked her to take charge of finding a restaurant. I hadn’t realized that 10 people constitutes a “group” so unless we wanted to order from the “group” menu, we were limited in where we could go. She chose Bonterra (http://www.bonterra.ca/) Restaurant. I guess it is what you would call trendy. They have bison, rabbit meatballs, etc. The prices were not wallet friendly (at least we had all agreed to cover our own costs but….). I guess maybe I am behind the times because Steve and I usually go out for breakfast, not dinner, so I was rather taken aback. Poor James – it cost $50 for him and his girlfriend for basically 2 bowls of fancy spaghetti and two pops – that was the cheapest thing on the menu! James and I reviewed the bill and they charged him for his refill on Pepsi so I guess he had three pops – not two. I agreed that after everyone else had paid their share, I would pick up the balance but the bill they brought to me was overcharged by $50 so that took a bit of sorting out – I will be keeping a close eye on my credit card statement when it arrives.
On Saturday, Steve and I were talking about anniversary presents to each other. I told Steve that I would like the topazes in one of my rings replaced – I have lost 2 – they are on the underside of the ring so they don’t show but I know they are missing. He wants a combined gift that I am attempting to get but it is taking longer than I anticipated. Anyway, my ring is going to have to be put on hold because I think we NEED to replace the dryer. Over the last few weeks, when I turn it on, it may or may not start – sometimes it needs to have the drum turned a bit then it is fine but on Saturday, it wasn’t willing to run for more than about 2 minutes then it would stop. Of course this had to be the load with the bath towels that we needed so I ended up going to the laudromat and using their dryer. I had another load in the washer so I decided to hang that out on the line – it seemed like a great idea until the line (this particular cord has been up for probably 8 years) decided to break and all the clean sheets and shirts landed on the ground! This in itself was not too bad until Willow decided that, while I was in the yard gathering laundry, this would be a great time to play ball so she dropped her ball on the clean sheets then ran across the rest of the laundry to get into position to catch the ball! It’s a good thing that I have more than one set of sheets. It’s also a good thing she is really cute.
On the getting things wet front, apparently our appliances and plumbing are in cahoots. On Wednesday, after Steve had his shower, James came upstairs from his room and reported there was water leaking onto the floor from under our bathroom. Steve took the front cover off our tub and found one leak but decided that the caulking around a part of the tub needed to be removed so he did that and he realized that the other leak was caused where caulking that has come loose. We had the ensuite bathroom put in 12 years ago – my, how time flies. I suggested the rest of the caulking should be removed so it could all be replaced because after 12 years, I am sure that more than just one place needs replacing. Anyway, it turned out that I was right and a bit of the drywall, behind the tub-surround, was wet so we have left it open to dry out before replacing the caulking. On Sunday morning, it is still not dry enough so it will probably be Monday before he can put in new caulking and we will be good to go. I have really missed being able to use our own shower. John and Carley have also been using the main bathroom so this has required a bit more scheduling. It’s silly, but you get used to the water pressure in a particular shower, then nothing else feels quite right. Also, the main bathroom is down the hall so I have to remember to take everything with me before I have my shower. It’s not really difficult, it’s just something I am not used to doing anymore. I am not really sure how we managed with 6 people and one bathroom for the first 10 years we lived here! But, when I really consider the number of people who are losing their jobs and their homes, whining about having to use a different bathroom seems very self-indulgent so I think I will close this off now.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Desiderata
I am feeling contemplative today so I was reading through a category I have on my PalmPilot that I call Inspiration and I rediscovered this: If you have never read it before, I hope you enjoy it. If, like me, you haven't read it in a long time, I hope you too enjoy rediscovering the truths it contains.
According to Wikipedia, Max Ehrmann first copyrighted it in 1927, but it was widely circulated in the 1960s without attribution to him. This copyright was renewed in 1954 by Bertha Ehrmann.
DESIDERATA:
Go placidly amid the noise and haste
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the hanging fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is.
Many persons strive for high ideals
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars.
You have a right to be here.
And whether it is clear to you or not,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive him to be,
and whatever your labours and aspirations
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham and drudgery and broken dreams
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
According to Wikipedia, Max Ehrmann first copyrighted it in 1927, but it was widely circulated in the 1960s without attribution to him. This copyright was renewed in 1954 by Bertha Ehrmann.
DESIDERATA:
Go placidly amid the noise and haste
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the hanging fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is.
Many persons strive for high ideals
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars.
You have a right to be here.
And whether it is clear to you or not,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive him to be,
and whatever your labours and aspirations
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham and drudgery and broken dreams
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
There is a good reason I do the job I do and not other jobs.
We had to sit through a presentation about some new legislation that will greatly impact my job. I simply couldn’t write legislation or argue about it without totally losing my mind. The semantics of getting the words just right so there is no room for error in interpretation must be mind-boggling.
Rick, who did part of the presentation, has been involved with the writing. While he probably does a good job writing, he better not give up his day job – he just doesn’t have the skills as a public speaker. He was actually the second speaker - the first person, Linda, was animated, and had a PowerPoint presentation that she presented – she didn’t merely read it. Short succinct slides and she talked about them. All in all, it was interesting. Rick basically read his 21 page Word document. I know we all have different talents but his should be used where he excels, and that is not public speaking.
I went out for dinner with a group of ladies from church last night. The company was great but the service was dreadful. We were a group of 11 but that is the same as 2 tables of 6 and the restaurant seemed to be able to handle those. It took an hour for our food to arrive, the table didn’t get cleared until after the desserts were delivered and when one lady ordered coffee, the cup came with lipstick marks all over it! Gross! She was offered a free refill but declined. I don’t think the waiter made any great tips but it was not due to us being a group of women, it was due to the bad service. He was very nice but certainly not a good waiter.
John and Carley got their mortgage approval today so they are thrilled. In less than 2 weeks, they will officially be homeowners. The only real problem was the bank demanded a higher downpayment than they expected so they have had to do a bit of rearranging of their finances. It is a temporary setback and it has been done but thankfully the house has window coverings a new furnace and new hot water tank as well as a washer and dryer so most of the new home big ticket items are taken care of.
I also had a nice compliment today. One of our managers asked me what I was doing these days. I thought he meant in terms of my job and committees but before I had a chance to answer, he said that he thought I had lost some weight and it was looking good on me. I told him that I was buying clothes that fit! I do need to lose a bit of weight but more in the 10 lbs range, so not a huge amount but what I am carrying has been with me for some time and made good friends with the rest of my body so it doesn’t want to leave without a fight! Anyway, I thanked him and walked away with a grin on my face.
Tomorrow is Friday and that is good.
We had to sit through a presentation about some new legislation that will greatly impact my job. I simply couldn’t write legislation or argue about it without totally losing my mind. The semantics of getting the words just right so there is no room for error in interpretation must be mind-boggling.
Rick, who did part of the presentation, has been involved with the writing. While he probably does a good job writing, he better not give up his day job – he just doesn’t have the skills as a public speaker. He was actually the second speaker - the first person, Linda, was animated, and had a PowerPoint presentation that she presented – she didn’t merely read it. Short succinct slides and she talked about them. All in all, it was interesting. Rick basically read his 21 page Word document. I know we all have different talents but his should be used where he excels, and that is not public speaking.
I went out for dinner with a group of ladies from church last night. The company was great but the service was dreadful. We were a group of 11 but that is the same as 2 tables of 6 and the restaurant seemed to be able to handle those. It took an hour for our food to arrive, the table didn’t get cleared until after the desserts were delivered and when one lady ordered coffee, the cup came with lipstick marks all over it! Gross! She was offered a free refill but declined. I don’t think the waiter made any great tips but it was not due to us being a group of women, it was due to the bad service. He was very nice but certainly not a good waiter.
John and Carley got their mortgage approval today so they are thrilled. In less than 2 weeks, they will officially be homeowners. The only real problem was the bank demanded a higher downpayment than they expected so they have had to do a bit of rearranging of their finances. It is a temporary setback and it has been done but thankfully the house has window coverings a new furnace and new hot water tank as well as a washer and dryer so most of the new home big ticket items are taken care of.
I also had a nice compliment today. One of our managers asked me what I was doing these days. I thought he meant in terms of my job and committees but before I had a chance to answer, he said that he thought I had lost some weight and it was looking good on me. I told him that I was buying clothes that fit! I do need to lose a bit of weight but more in the 10 lbs range, so not a huge amount but what I am carrying has been with me for some time and made good friends with the rest of my body so it doesn’t want to leave without a fight! Anyway, I thanked him and walked away with a grin on my face.
Tomorrow is Friday and that is good.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Broken Arms are no Fun
Poor Mel - she and Steve went to the hospital yesterday so she could have her casts replaced again! They were both too loose.
Anyway, the 3rd cast technician said the previous casts were not properly set so that her arms were at a neutral angle so they moved both arms before they cast them again so she is now in pain once more.
The second cast technician had said the same thing about the 1st technician's work - I sincerely hope that somebody knows what they are doing - wrists and elbows are important.
AND, she found out that because she hasn't finished her 3 months probationary period at her job, she doesn't qualify for disability. She is not sure she will qualify for EI because she was working on contract so she has some part time and some full time hours but perhaps not enough of either.
Life is not fun just now for her.
But on a happier note, John and Carley arrived safely last night. They put in an offer on a house in Saskatoon so pending a house inspection and final financing, they will be heading back to Saskatchewan at the end of the month and moving into their first home.
John is trying to repair my computer and Steve's so we are both really happy about that. He has always been a bit like Dr. Doolittle except that instead of talking to animals, he can talk to computers. In high school, the teachers would have him pulled out of class to fix the school's computers and sometimes, even their own. Many years after it happened, we learned that (notwithstanding his probable Mensa eligible IQ), he passed high school mostly because he would offer his teachers a choice, if they wanted their computers working, he wouldn't have time to do his homework so would they pass him anyway? Apparently enough of them agreed that he did make it through school. There have been occasions where he has said that he wishes he paid more attention but back then it didn't seem important.
Anyway, the 3rd cast technician said the previous casts were not properly set so that her arms were at a neutral angle so they moved both arms before they cast them again so she is now in pain once more.
The second cast technician had said the same thing about the 1st technician's work - I sincerely hope that somebody knows what they are doing - wrists and elbows are important.
AND, she found out that because she hasn't finished her 3 months probationary period at her job, she doesn't qualify for disability. She is not sure she will qualify for EI because she was working on contract so she has some part time and some full time hours but perhaps not enough of either.
Life is not fun just now for her.
But on a happier note, John and Carley arrived safely last night. They put in an offer on a house in Saskatoon so pending a house inspection and final financing, they will be heading back to Saskatchewan at the end of the month and moving into their first home.
John is trying to repair my computer and Steve's so we are both really happy about that. He has always been a bit like Dr. Doolittle except that instead of talking to animals, he can talk to computers. In high school, the teachers would have him pulled out of class to fix the school's computers and sometimes, even their own. Many years after it happened, we learned that (notwithstanding his probable Mensa eligible IQ), he passed high school mostly because he would offer his teachers a choice, if they wanted their computers working, he wouldn't have time to do his homework so would they pass him anyway? Apparently enough of them agreed that he did make it through school. There have been occasions where he has said that he wishes he paid more attention but back then it didn't seem important.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The Grateful Gene
I am feeling a tad bit sorry for myself just now. I have more hours of work than I have hours available, at least it feels that way. I have often thought that weekends are when you get 2 days to do everything you didn't get done in the previous 5.
John, and with his girlfriend/significant other Carley, were going to move from Vancouver to small town Saskatchewan. Carley was going to set up a catering business sort of thing doing box lunches for the rig pigs (oil rig workers) and they were going to live at her parents' place for a while until they could find somewhere to buy. They headed through Calgary the weekend before Mel's accident so it is only almost 2 weeks ago, but it feels likes months or year! Anyway, there was a breakdown in communication and Carley's parents said they couldn't stay there so they went into Regina first then Saskatoon and now they are looking at houses there. They are planning to put in an offer today then head to Calgary tomorrow to stay with us for a week or two or more, until they can get possession of something. I can't believe the house prices in Saskatoon! They have been planning this since before Christmas so I don't know what happened.
I only found out last night that this was the game plan when David was over and John text-messaged him that they would be here either today or tomorrow. I got Steve to call John and clarify this and sure enough, that is the plan.
The spare bedroom, that has a very generous collection of everything in it, HAS to be cleared out and because we had snow and rain last weekend, the yard needs to be done, there is laundry and the list goes on. James decided to clear his closet, partly so we could move stuff from the spare room to John's room, and I now have 4 big garbage bags of clothes so I have to call the Diabetes Society tomorrow for a pickup.
In a roundabout way, this is leading to the title of this entry - I had an aunt, who incidentally made the world's best Ukranian cabbage rolls, used to "Why does everything happen to me". My mom would sometimes reply "So, who do you think it should happen to?"
I know that many people are familiar with the expression "God doesn't give us more than we can handle". I heard a follow up - I have seen it attributed to Mother Teresa so I feel rather guilty using it but some days.... "I just wish He didn't trust me so much".
I am grateful I have a good life, overall. I live in a wonderful country where I have the freedom to complain, I have a good husband (not a healthy one but a good one), 4 moderately healthy children (if we discount broken arms, one who is unemployed and one who is searching for a house in city he doesn't know), my Mom is still alive (not really well but she is still fairly competant), a job that I usually love and my own health. When I think of all the people who can't say the same, I am grateful, it is just sometimes too easy to fret and complain instead of exercising my grateful gene.
John, and with his girlfriend/significant other Carley, were going to move from Vancouver to small town Saskatchewan. Carley was going to set up a catering business sort of thing doing box lunches for the rig pigs (oil rig workers) and they were going to live at her parents' place for a while until they could find somewhere to buy. They headed through Calgary the weekend before Mel's accident so it is only almost 2 weeks ago, but it feels likes months or year! Anyway, there was a breakdown in communication and Carley's parents said they couldn't stay there so they went into Regina first then Saskatoon and now they are looking at houses there. They are planning to put in an offer today then head to Calgary tomorrow to stay with us for a week or two or more, until they can get possession of something. I can't believe the house prices in Saskatoon! They have been planning this since before Christmas so I don't know what happened.
I only found out last night that this was the game plan when David was over and John text-messaged him that they would be here either today or tomorrow. I got Steve to call John and clarify this and sure enough, that is the plan.
The spare bedroom, that has a very generous collection of everything in it, HAS to be cleared out and because we had snow and rain last weekend, the yard needs to be done, there is laundry and the list goes on. James decided to clear his closet, partly so we could move stuff from the spare room to John's room, and I now have 4 big garbage bags of clothes so I have to call the Diabetes Society tomorrow for a pickup.
In a roundabout way, this is leading to the title of this entry - I had an aunt, who incidentally made the world's best Ukranian cabbage rolls, used to "Why does everything happen to me". My mom would sometimes reply "So, who do you think it should happen to?"
I know that many people are familiar with the expression "God doesn't give us more than we can handle". I heard a follow up - I have seen it attributed to Mother Teresa so I feel rather guilty using it but some days.... "I just wish He didn't trust me so much".
I am grateful I have a good life, overall. I live in a wonderful country where I have the freedom to complain, I have a good husband (not a healthy one but a good one), 4 moderately healthy children (if we discount broken arms, one who is unemployed and one who is searching for a house in city he doesn't know), my Mom is still alive (not really well but she is still fairly competant), a job that I usually love and my own health. When I think of all the people who can't say the same, I am grateful, it is just sometimes too easy to fret and complain instead of exercising my grateful gene.
Melissa
Melissa:
June 2, James phoned me on my cell while I was on my way to work to say that Melissa had called him – she fell off her bike on her way to work and would I come and get her. I tried to call her on her cell but there was no answer. I drove across town to where I thought she would be riding but couldn’t find her. I didn’t know her boyfriend/significant other’s cell phone or work number (I now have it!) so I tried his mother but there was no answer. I tried home again and found out that Mel had called an ambulance and was at the hospital.
Like a mad-woman, I drove to the hospital, parked, and went to Emergency where I found her waiting. Apparently she had been trying to jump a curb when her bike went down. She was wearing biking shoes because she has no-clip pedals and I think that in the fury of trying to get her feet out, she landed in the almost worst possible way. The hospital had taken some x-rays by the time I had arrived and determined that she had not just one but two broken arms – one wrist and one elbow!
Fortunately, my cell was charged up so I called into work for her and said she wouldn’t be in. I then called my boss and said I wouldn’t be in either. My boss and I have worked together for 19 years – we started out as peers but she has been one step ahead of me on the promotion line for a while. She has seen Mel and the other kids all grow up so I knew I wouldn’t have any problems on that front.
During all of this, I had to call Steve to come the hospital to pick up her bike because it won’t fit in my car. I think it will be quite a while before she needs it again but it did need to go home.
Anyway, to make a very long story short, they cast the arm with the broken wrist and made us wait for what seemed like forever. About 2 pm, Mel complained that the pain was getting bad so they gave her some Percocet, a really strong pain killer – this would have been fine except she had an empty stomach! She just about fainted so a nurse got some food for her. The problem was that she couldn’t eat by herself because both arms were useless. I had to hold the sandwich and let her take little bites, then hold the cup with the straw so she could have a drink. When I was feeding her the cup of fruit salad, I couldn’t resist – I had to make airplane noises!
Finally they told Melissa to go home and come back on Wednesday morning so they could operate on the broken elbow.
She and Ryan went back on Wednesday, waited all day and were told to come back on Thursday! The hospital finally operated on Thursday and decided to keep her pending an application to a Rehab unit – you don’t realize all the things you can’t do if you have no arms! Eating, opening doors, picking up anything, dressing yourself, going to the bathroom (unless you are naked and even then….), etc .
Friday afternoon, her application for a rehab bed was denied. All weekend, we wondered what would happen because she wasn’t sick enough to stay in hospital but not easily well enough to go home.
Monday afternoon, the doctors discharged her home, much to our dismay. Her roommate was loud, obnoxious, left the tv on high volume then would fall asleep, whined constantly etc. so Mel was glad to be out of there! Steve called a local newspaper to ask if they wanted a story on how bad the medical situation can be. They were quite willing to interview Mel but she wanted nothing to do with that.
She is doing surprisingly well at home. She and Ryan went to a medical supply store and purchased some cutlery holders so with her 4 fingers on one hand, she can hold a fork – Ryan has to cut her food but she can just manage to feed herself. They had talked about getting a bidet when they renovate their house so this has forced their hand a bit. What they ordered is from here: Bidets
She will be off work for a while longer. She is hoping that she qualifies for disability because she hasn’t been working there that long. She is taking some university courses so she had to get medical notes so she could delay writing a paper as well. Having broken arms is not good at the best of times but to lose out on summer and with all the other things going on in her life, this was not a good time at all. At least she had her bike helmet on and so she had no head injuries so if there is something to be thankful for in all of this, that is the silver lining.
June 2, James phoned me on my cell while I was on my way to work to say that Melissa had called him – she fell off her bike on her way to work and would I come and get her. I tried to call her on her cell but there was no answer. I drove across town to where I thought she would be riding but couldn’t find her. I didn’t know her boyfriend/significant other’s cell phone or work number (I now have it!) so I tried his mother but there was no answer. I tried home again and found out that Mel had called an ambulance and was at the hospital.
Like a mad-woman, I drove to the hospital, parked, and went to Emergency where I found her waiting. Apparently she had been trying to jump a curb when her bike went down. She was wearing biking shoes because she has no-clip pedals and I think that in the fury of trying to get her feet out, she landed in the almost worst possible way. The hospital had taken some x-rays by the time I had arrived and determined that she had not just one but two broken arms – one wrist and one elbow!
Fortunately, my cell was charged up so I called into work for her and said she wouldn’t be in. I then called my boss and said I wouldn’t be in either. My boss and I have worked together for 19 years – we started out as peers but she has been one step ahead of me on the promotion line for a while. She has seen Mel and the other kids all grow up so I knew I wouldn’t have any problems on that front.
During all of this, I had to call Steve to come the hospital to pick up her bike because it won’t fit in my car. I think it will be quite a while before she needs it again but it did need to go home.
Anyway, to make a very long story short, they cast the arm with the broken wrist and made us wait for what seemed like forever. About 2 pm, Mel complained that the pain was getting bad so they gave her some Percocet, a really strong pain killer – this would have been fine except she had an empty stomach! She just about fainted so a nurse got some food for her. The problem was that she couldn’t eat by herself because both arms were useless. I had to hold the sandwich and let her take little bites, then hold the cup with the straw so she could have a drink. When I was feeding her the cup of fruit salad, I couldn’t resist – I had to make airplane noises!
Finally they told Melissa to go home and come back on Wednesday morning so they could operate on the broken elbow.
She and Ryan went back on Wednesday, waited all day and were told to come back on Thursday! The hospital finally operated on Thursday and decided to keep her pending an application to a Rehab unit – you don’t realize all the things you can’t do if you have no arms! Eating, opening doors, picking up anything, dressing yourself, going to the bathroom (unless you are naked and even then….), etc .
Friday afternoon, her application for a rehab bed was denied. All weekend, we wondered what would happen because she wasn’t sick enough to stay in hospital but not easily well enough to go home.
Monday afternoon, the doctors discharged her home, much to our dismay. Her roommate was loud, obnoxious, left the tv on high volume then would fall asleep, whined constantly etc. so Mel was glad to be out of there! Steve called a local newspaper to ask if they wanted a story on how bad the medical situation can be. They were quite willing to interview Mel but she wanted nothing to do with that.
She is doing surprisingly well at home. She and Ryan went to a medical supply store and purchased some cutlery holders so with her 4 fingers on one hand, she can hold a fork – Ryan has to cut her food but she can just manage to feed herself. They had talked about getting a bidet when they renovate their house so this has forced their hand a bit. What they ordered is from here: Bidets
She will be off work for a while longer. She is hoping that she qualifies for disability because she hasn’t been working there that long. She is taking some university courses so she had to get medical notes so she could delay writing a paper as well. Having broken arms is not good at the best of times but to lose out on summer and with all the other things going on in her life, this was not a good time at all. At least she had her bike helmet on and so she had no head injuries so if there is something to be thankful for in all of this, that is the silver lining.
Mom
This is a photo of my Aunt Hilda, my grandparents and my Mom taken in the 1940s
Sunday, May 3rd
Mid-afternoon, the phone rang and it was Mom. When I asked how she was, she said she was very upset. When I asked why, she said that she couldn’t understand why I didn’t care enough about her to phone her on Mother’s Day. I said that Mother’s Day is next week but Mom disagreed and said the newspapers said that Mother’s Day was today so I was wrong. After almost crying on the phone and asking what she had done so that I didn’t care enough to call her, she finally hung up on me. A short time later, Mom’s sister, Hilda, called to say that she had also talked to Mom that day and when Hilda told Mom that her granddaughter, Amy, was getting married next month, Mom said she didn’t know who Amy was. Considering Mom has always been excellent at keeping all the relatives straight, this was worrisome. Anyway, I told Aunt Hilda about my bizarre conversation concerning Mother’s Day. Aunt Hilda said she would try to talk to Mom about Mother’s Day and we left it at that.
Friday, May 8th
I talked to Mom and she had received her Mother’s Day card and she was quite pleased with it. She seems to not remember her phone call on Sunday. When I talked about Amy getting married, Mom was quite aware of who Amy is and it was as if last Sunday never happened! I am really worried because this is so out of character.
Tuesday, June 2nd
I tried to phone just after I got home to tell Mom about Melissa’s fall and there was no answer. I said to Steve that was rather odd but I thought maybe she was down the hall throwing out the garbage. I tried a bit later and there was still no answer which was really strange. A short time later, Mom’s friend Ellen phoned to say that she and another friend, Pat, were worried earlier in the day about Mom because her phone had been off the hook all morning and that was not normal. They went to her apartment and here I am a bit fuzzy but apparently they got into the apartment (I don’t know if Mom answered the door or if one of them had a key) and found her very confused. She was convinced that her mother (who has been dead for about 35 years) and I were both at her apartment. Anyway, Ellen and Pat took Mom to the hospital and they decided to keep her. Ellen and Pat were concerned that Mom might have had a stroke but the hospital decided that she had a urinary tract infection and that was a partial cause of her confusion. The hospital had admitted her and Ellen was not sure how long Mom would be there. I called Aunt Hilda and let her know what is happening.
Thursday, June 10th
Mom’s doctor phoned me and provided an update. The doctor has decided to pull Mom’s driver’s license! While I do not disagree with it, in fact, I actually support it, it has been a real blow for Mom. She says she doesn’t understand why, after all she passed her test last year. The doctor says that they did a Mini-Mental Status Test and she scored 23/30. While that doesn’t sound bad, it is a sign of mild to moderate dementia. They also did a Montreal Cognitive test and on that she only scored 13/30 – obviously not good. The occupational therapist did a safety audit to see if Mom would be safe at home. On that she scored 5/7 but in terms of problem solving, she only got 3/7. The safety audit apparently has flash cards with pictures of dangerous situations such as pot on fire; while Mom recognized that a pot on fire is dangerous, she wasn’t able to pick out the card with a fire extinguisher as a solution.
I know that she has been without her toothbrush and toothpaste since she was admitted 10 days ago. She knew she needed/wanted them but she couldn’t figure out that that she could have asked Ellen or Pat to bring her a toothbrush and toothpaste. She can sometimes recognize a problem but is not able to figure out what to do about it.
Friday, June 11th
I talked to Mom tonight and she is tired, as usual. She says she doesn’t understand why the doctor pulled her license. I am sure the doctor did talk to her but she just doesn’t get it. When I asked what she is going to do about getting places, she said she didn’t know. I suggested she could take taxis, and she said she guesses she can.
I talked to her about the doctor being concerned because she had no memory of the fall – no idea if she tripped over something or blacked out or something else. What she said boggled my mind – she told me that I wouldn’t help her after her fall. When I asked what she was talking about she said: “I was lying on the floor and calling your name but you were lying on the bed with a lampshade on your head, I don’t know what that was all about, and you wouldn’t help me. I called and called and you wouldn’t help”. After I caught my breathe, I said that I hadn’t been to her home since last summer when she had her cataracts operated on, but she continued to insist that I was at her home last week and wouldn’t help. She didn’t seem to be angry with me, more disappointed with me. I have no idea how my grandmother fit into the picture and I didn’t really want to go there!
Saturday, June 12th
I talked to Aunt Hilda again today. She talked to Mom this morning and Mom’s concern was that when she left the house last Tuesday, the bed wasn’t made! Considering that she always makes the bed shortly after getting up, so usually by about 9 or 9:30 and I believe that Ellen and Pat took her to the hospital about 2 pm, that means she fell and lay on the floor for probably 4-6 hours!
I had talked to her a few months ago about Lifeline or a similar personal monitoring system, but she says that her former neighbour had one and never used it so they don’t work. I was not able to convince her that the problem was the neighbour, not the system. In computer lingo, they call this a DEU – Defective End User.
Apparently the lady from HomeCare came in today for a visit. She heated up some supper for Mom but I don’t know what else she did. When Mom told her that she has 3 medical appointments this week and can’t drive, the lady said she would see if the agency would be able to find a driver – apparently they are paid for by the Health Care system. I hope that Mom understood correctly and that it will all work out.
Although it probably sounds callous, I am not going to visit her until the end of July. Her doctor has said that she needs to move to a seniors residence – she is not a nursing home candidate yet. Until she has been inconvenienced enough by not having a car, I don’t think she will be willing to consider moving. Her options are to stay in the community where she is living and where she has friends, or moving West to live near me and the grandchildren. There are huge pros and cons to either decision and neither of them will be clearly right.
Staying in her current community:
Pro: She is near her friends
Con: She is one of the few who was still driving so can they get out to visit her?
Pro: Her doctors are all there and they have been great
Con: How does she get to them? If she moves into a senior residence, she will possibly end up getting new doctors anyway.
Pro: The area is familiar to her.
Con: If she can’t get out easily, does it matter?
Pro: The move is not as major if she stays nearby.
Con: It is still a major move and will be traumatic.
Moving near to me:
Pro: She will be near family and we can invite her for dinner and Christmas etc easily – no more expensive flights across the country.
Con: Will she expect us to appear every day?
Pro: I can attend her medical appointments with her
Con: How easy will it be to find new doctors – particularly with the current shortage.
What to do, what to do???
Sunday, May 3rd
Mid-afternoon, the phone rang and it was Mom. When I asked how she was, she said she was very upset. When I asked why, she said that she couldn’t understand why I didn’t care enough about her to phone her on Mother’s Day. I said that Mother’s Day is next week but Mom disagreed and said the newspapers said that Mother’s Day was today so I was wrong. After almost crying on the phone and asking what she had done so that I didn’t care enough to call her, she finally hung up on me. A short time later, Mom’s sister, Hilda, called to say that she had also talked to Mom that day and when Hilda told Mom that her granddaughter, Amy, was getting married next month, Mom said she didn’t know who Amy was. Considering Mom has always been excellent at keeping all the relatives straight, this was worrisome. Anyway, I told Aunt Hilda about my bizarre conversation concerning Mother’s Day. Aunt Hilda said she would try to talk to Mom about Mother’s Day and we left it at that.
Friday, May 8th
I talked to Mom and she had received her Mother’s Day card and she was quite pleased with it. She seems to not remember her phone call on Sunday. When I talked about Amy getting married, Mom was quite aware of who Amy is and it was as if last Sunday never happened! I am really worried because this is so out of character.
Tuesday, June 2nd
I tried to phone just after I got home to tell Mom about Melissa’s fall and there was no answer. I said to Steve that was rather odd but I thought maybe she was down the hall throwing out the garbage. I tried a bit later and there was still no answer which was really strange. A short time later, Mom’s friend Ellen phoned to say that she and another friend, Pat, were worried earlier in the day about Mom because her phone had been off the hook all morning and that was not normal. They went to her apartment and here I am a bit fuzzy but apparently they got into the apartment (I don’t know if Mom answered the door or if one of them had a key) and found her very confused. She was convinced that her mother (who has been dead for about 35 years) and I were both at her apartment. Anyway, Ellen and Pat took Mom to the hospital and they decided to keep her. Ellen and Pat were concerned that Mom might have had a stroke but the hospital decided that she had a urinary tract infection and that was a partial cause of her confusion. The hospital had admitted her and Ellen was not sure how long Mom would be there. I called Aunt Hilda and let her know what is happening.
Thursday, June 10th
Mom’s doctor phoned me and provided an update. The doctor has decided to pull Mom’s driver’s license! While I do not disagree with it, in fact, I actually support it, it has been a real blow for Mom. She says she doesn’t understand why, after all she passed her test last year. The doctor says that they did a Mini-Mental Status Test and she scored 23/30. While that doesn’t sound bad, it is a sign of mild to moderate dementia. They also did a Montreal Cognitive test and on that she only scored 13/30 – obviously not good. The occupational therapist did a safety audit to see if Mom would be safe at home. On that she scored 5/7 but in terms of problem solving, she only got 3/7. The safety audit apparently has flash cards with pictures of dangerous situations such as pot on fire; while Mom recognized that a pot on fire is dangerous, she wasn’t able to pick out the card with a fire extinguisher as a solution.
I know that she has been without her toothbrush and toothpaste since she was admitted 10 days ago. She knew she needed/wanted them but she couldn’t figure out that that she could have asked Ellen or Pat to bring her a toothbrush and toothpaste. She can sometimes recognize a problem but is not able to figure out what to do about it.
Friday, June 11th
I talked to Mom tonight and she is tired, as usual. She says she doesn’t understand why the doctor pulled her license. I am sure the doctor did talk to her but she just doesn’t get it. When I asked what she is going to do about getting places, she said she didn’t know. I suggested she could take taxis, and she said she guesses she can.
I talked to her about the doctor being concerned because she had no memory of the fall – no idea if she tripped over something or blacked out or something else. What she said boggled my mind – she told me that I wouldn’t help her after her fall. When I asked what she was talking about she said: “I was lying on the floor and calling your name but you were lying on the bed with a lampshade on your head, I don’t know what that was all about, and you wouldn’t help me. I called and called and you wouldn’t help”. After I caught my breathe, I said that I hadn’t been to her home since last summer when she had her cataracts operated on, but she continued to insist that I was at her home last week and wouldn’t help. She didn’t seem to be angry with me, more disappointed with me. I have no idea how my grandmother fit into the picture and I didn’t really want to go there!
Saturday, June 12th
I talked to Aunt Hilda again today. She talked to Mom this morning and Mom’s concern was that when she left the house last Tuesday, the bed wasn’t made! Considering that she always makes the bed shortly after getting up, so usually by about 9 or 9:30 and I believe that Ellen and Pat took her to the hospital about 2 pm, that means she fell and lay on the floor for probably 4-6 hours!
I had talked to her a few months ago about Lifeline or a similar personal monitoring system, but she says that her former neighbour had one and never used it so they don’t work. I was not able to convince her that the problem was the neighbour, not the system. In computer lingo, they call this a DEU – Defective End User.
Apparently the lady from HomeCare came in today for a visit. She heated up some supper for Mom but I don’t know what else she did. When Mom told her that she has 3 medical appointments this week and can’t drive, the lady said she would see if the agency would be able to find a driver – apparently they are paid for by the Health Care system. I hope that Mom understood correctly and that it will all work out.
Although it probably sounds callous, I am not going to visit her until the end of July. Her doctor has said that she needs to move to a seniors residence – she is not a nursing home candidate yet. Until she has been inconvenienced enough by not having a car, I don’t think she will be willing to consider moving. Her options are to stay in the community where she is living and where she has friends, or moving West to live near me and the grandchildren. There are huge pros and cons to either decision and neither of them will be clearly right.
Staying in her current community:
Pro: She is near her friends
Con: She is one of the few who was still driving so can they get out to visit her?
Pro: Her doctors are all there and they have been great
Con: How does she get to them? If she moves into a senior residence, she will possibly end up getting new doctors anyway.
Pro: The area is familiar to her.
Con: If she can’t get out easily, does it matter?
Pro: The move is not as major if she stays nearby.
Con: It is still a major move and will be traumatic.
Moving near to me:
Pro: She will be near family and we can invite her for dinner and Christmas etc easily – no more expensive flights across the country.
Con: Will she expect us to appear every day?
Pro: I can attend her medical appointments with her
Con: How easy will it be to find new doctors – particularly with the current shortage.
What to do, what to do???
Heart attacks, anyone?
If I had started this blog 2½ months ago, this is how it would have read:
Sunday, March 22th
Well, after talking for a year and planning for almost that long, we finally booked our tickets for Cuba. I am so looking forward to just sitting on the beaches and doing nothing. I am so tired of work (I will never ever catch up) and school is getting closer to being over and I SO SO need a break. Normally I would want a vacation where we do things but not this time – I just want to do nothing. David and his girlfriend/significant other, Maria, are excited too. They went last year and it is going to be great. Steve and I will do what we want and David and Maria can do their thing, or we can do stuff together – just as long as there is enough time for nothing!
Wednesday, April 1st
Steve woke up this morning complaining that his eye is bothering him. He says it feels like there is something in it. I can’t see anything so tell him to leave it alone. If it is still bothering him, told him to go see Dr. P, our family doctor.
Thursday, April 2nd
Steve is still complaining about his eye. He got in to see Dr. P who booked him an appointment with an ophthalmologist at the hospital tomorrow. Still says it feels like there is something in his eye but I still can’t see anything.
Friday, April 3rd
Steve sees the ophthalmologist who can’t really see anything but gives him some drops and says to use them for about 2 weeks.
Tuesday, April 7th
I got up to find Steve already up – this is not normal so I ask “How come you’re up?” The response was “I have a pain in my chest and my arm is numb”. I had to renew my St. John’s Ambulance course in February and I know enough to know this is not good. When I ask what he wants to do about it, he says he doesn’t know. I ask if I should phone an ambulance and he says he doesn’t know. I convince him that an ambulance is a good thing so he agrees. I call the ambulance but after playing go-between with the 911 operator and Steve, I finally hand over the phone so he can answer the questions.
Within a few minutes, an ambulance pulls up and two paramedics come in – but I have to put the dog away so she doesn’t bark incessantly. Poor James gets woken up so he can keep the dog in his room for the time being.
The paramedics take Steve’s blood sugars and they are 23 – he is a Type 2 diabetic (he was diagnosed about 12 years ago). A “good” sugar reading is in the range of 5-8 so 23 is not good! A reading that high is considered dangerous for most people. Steve tries to convince the paramedics that that level is quite normal for him and Dr. P. knows that. The paramedics suggest he get that in writing from the doctor for future reference. Anyway, they decide to take him to the local hospital to get checked out.
The outdoor light burned out last week so I can’t turn on a light for the paramedics so off they negotiate in the near dark. I have since changed the bulb.
I had a shower and a quick breakfast then headed to the hospital. With 4 kids and a husband who has had a few kidney stones and a few other medical issues over the years, I know the drill and that they wouldn’t let me in immediately anyway so also knowing it would be a long day, I decided I needed to take care of me too.
I arrived at the hospital to find he was in a bed already – they take chest pains seriously in middle-aged men. He was telling the doctors that he had had chest pains for about a week – when I questioned that, he said that he had been up every night for about a week but he thought he was suffering from indigestion – I have since learned that this is not uncommon.
One of the emergency doctors came by to talk to him about his blood sugar levels and announced that they would be putting him on insulin. Steve has been taking nutraceuticals for a number of years because he found he didn’t like how the prescribed drugs made him feel. He told the doctor that he was only willing to take a new type of insulin that he had read about. The doctor said “In this hospital we use old fashioned insulin so that is what you are getting”. So, he is now on insulin, injected twice a day.
The cardiologist came by a short time later and said that they wanted to do an angiogram then if Steve was a candidate, they would do an angioplasty. Steve told the doctor that he didn’t want angioplasty so the doctor said that they wouldn’t do an angiogram! When asked why, the doctor said that if Steve wouldn’t agree to angioplasty if they thought it necessary, there was no point in doing an angiogram. To make a long story short, he agreed to the angiogram and the possibility of angioplasty. Thank goodness for doctors who are accustomed to dealing with stubborn middle-aged men!
While in hospital, he was visited by cardiologist, nutritionists, diabetic counselors, and who know who else. At this point in time, the days all ran together until Steve was discharged the following Monday.
Monday, April 13th
Steve’s cardiologist says he can’t travel by air for at least 3 months, maybe longer. Our tickets to Cuba are for next Monday, the 20th. I didn’t bother to get cancellation insurance because, after all, we were both healthy and hearty and I only booked the tickets 3 weeks ago – what to do???
I called the airlines to see if there was anything we could do – maybe take a credit and go later – whatever! The only solution they offered was to change the name on one ticket for the small fee of $300! The tickets for 1 week, all inclusive, were only $1,250/person so $300 seemed rather steep but my other option was to not go at all and lose everything or to go on my own and probably be grumpy and miserable and ruin David and Maria’s vacation.
I had a bit of a brainwave so I called my childhood friend, Ellie, who lives in Toronto, and asked if she could change her life at the drop of a hat and come with me. After numerous phone calls to various people she does work for (she’s an interior decorator), she rearranged her life and made arrangements to get to Calgary on Friday, so we had a weekend together before we boarded the plane.
Sunday, March 22th
Well, after talking for a year and planning for almost that long, we finally booked our tickets for Cuba. I am so looking forward to just sitting on the beaches and doing nothing. I am so tired of work (I will never ever catch up) and school is getting closer to being over and I SO SO need a break. Normally I would want a vacation where we do things but not this time – I just want to do nothing. David and his girlfriend/significant other, Maria, are excited too. They went last year and it is going to be great. Steve and I will do what we want and David and Maria can do their thing, or we can do stuff together – just as long as there is enough time for nothing!
Wednesday, April 1st
Steve woke up this morning complaining that his eye is bothering him. He says it feels like there is something in it. I can’t see anything so tell him to leave it alone. If it is still bothering him, told him to go see Dr. P, our family doctor.
Thursday, April 2nd
Steve is still complaining about his eye. He got in to see Dr. P who booked him an appointment with an ophthalmologist at the hospital tomorrow. Still says it feels like there is something in his eye but I still can’t see anything.
Friday, April 3rd
Steve sees the ophthalmologist who can’t really see anything but gives him some drops and says to use them for about 2 weeks.
Tuesday, April 7th
I got up to find Steve already up – this is not normal so I ask “How come you’re up?” The response was “I have a pain in my chest and my arm is numb”. I had to renew my St. John’s Ambulance course in February and I know enough to know this is not good. When I ask what he wants to do about it, he says he doesn’t know. I ask if I should phone an ambulance and he says he doesn’t know. I convince him that an ambulance is a good thing so he agrees. I call the ambulance but after playing go-between with the 911 operator and Steve, I finally hand over the phone so he can answer the questions.
Within a few minutes, an ambulance pulls up and two paramedics come in – but I have to put the dog away so she doesn’t bark incessantly. Poor James gets woken up so he can keep the dog in his room for the time being.
The paramedics take Steve’s blood sugars and they are 23 – he is a Type 2 diabetic (he was diagnosed about 12 years ago). A “good” sugar reading is in the range of 5-8 so 23 is not good! A reading that high is considered dangerous for most people. Steve tries to convince the paramedics that that level is quite normal for him and Dr. P. knows that. The paramedics suggest he get that in writing from the doctor for future reference. Anyway, they decide to take him to the local hospital to get checked out.
The outdoor light burned out last week so I can’t turn on a light for the paramedics so off they negotiate in the near dark. I have since changed the bulb.
I had a shower and a quick breakfast then headed to the hospital. With 4 kids and a husband who has had a few kidney stones and a few other medical issues over the years, I know the drill and that they wouldn’t let me in immediately anyway so also knowing it would be a long day, I decided I needed to take care of me too.
I arrived at the hospital to find he was in a bed already – they take chest pains seriously in middle-aged men. He was telling the doctors that he had had chest pains for about a week – when I questioned that, he said that he had been up every night for about a week but he thought he was suffering from indigestion – I have since learned that this is not uncommon.
One of the emergency doctors came by to talk to him about his blood sugar levels and announced that they would be putting him on insulin. Steve has been taking nutraceuticals for a number of years because he found he didn’t like how the prescribed drugs made him feel. He told the doctor that he was only willing to take a new type of insulin that he had read about. The doctor said “In this hospital we use old fashioned insulin so that is what you are getting”. So, he is now on insulin, injected twice a day.
The cardiologist came by a short time later and said that they wanted to do an angiogram then if Steve was a candidate, they would do an angioplasty. Steve told the doctor that he didn’t want angioplasty so the doctor said that they wouldn’t do an angiogram! When asked why, the doctor said that if Steve wouldn’t agree to angioplasty if they thought it necessary, there was no point in doing an angiogram. To make a long story short, he agreed to the angiogram and the possibility of angioplasty. Thank goodness for doctors who are accustomed to dealing with stubborn middle-aged men!
While in hospital, he was visited by cardiologist, nutritionists, diabetic counselors, and who know who else. At this point in time, the days all ran together until Steve was discharged the following Monday.
Monday, April 13th
Steve’s cardiologist says he can’t travel by air for at least 3 months, maybe longer. Our tickets to Cuba are for next Monday, the 20th. I didn’t bother to get cancellation insurance because, after all, we were both healthy and hearty and I only booked the tickets 3 weeks ago – what to do???
I called the airlines to see if there was anything we could do – maybe take a credit and go later – whatever! The only solution they offered was to change the name on one ticket for the small fee of $300! The tickets for 1 week, all inclusive, were only $1,250/person so $300 seemed rather steep but my other option was to not go at all and lose everything or to go on my own and probably be grumpy and miserable and ruin David and Maria’s vacation.
I had a bit of a brainwave so I called my childhood friend, Ellie, who lives in Toronto, and asked if she could change her life at the drop of a hat and come with me. After numerous phone calls to various people she does work for (she’s an interior decorator), she rearranged her life and made arrangements to get to Calgary on Friday, so we had a weekend together before we boarded the plane.
Why Start a Blog?
Who am I? Let’s see, I am a sandwich generation wife, mother, daughter, worker and I live in Calgary, Alberta. I have a husband, Steve, to whom I have been married for almost 34 years and four adult children, David, John, Melissa and James. The three older children are out of the house but James is still living at home. I work as a financial advisor/banker of sorts – it’s rather complicated but that description covers it well enough. Other members of our family are Willow, often referred to as Miss Willikins, my English Springer Spaniel, and Zoe, the cat. While this blog, just now, will sound so much like a bad soap opera, it is what has actually been happening in my life.
I decided I needed to write about the current state of my life so I could document the facts, as I remember them, about diving into live and living at the edge.
I decided I needed to write about the current state of my life so I could document the facts, as I remember them, about diving into live and living at the edge.
I am an only child and my mother, who is almost 87, lives just outside Toronto. Her health is more than slightly precarious at this point in time so decisions need to be made but she is still competent to make choices, but her choices are not the best. She is determined to continue to live at home but she is not safe. More about Mom later.
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